What to know when dating a black man


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A couple of years ago, after a string of failed relationships, I took some time to reevaluate my whole damn life.

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I knew what I wanted, or at least what I was supposed to want, and I thought I was clear with my intentions when it came to dating. No matter how different the guy appeared on the surface, the results were consistently too similar for it to be a matter of happenstance.

10 Reasons Why You Should Date African Men

Of course I did all the self-reflective stuff — ate, prayed, loved, started seeing a therapist on a weekly basis. I mean I was the quintessential Black Woman on her journey to self-rediscovery. Sure, I had developed some great communication skills, learned a lot about compromise and partnership, and even more about realistic partner expectations. And in being realistic about my partner expectations, I had to acknowledge that my dating pool needed a major revamp. I had exclusively dated Black men up to that point, finding commonality in the fact that we were both Black and both American-born, but my perception of marriage and relationships had undoubtedly been shaped by my West African father and my American Baby-Boomer Uncles.

I was expecting the men I was dating to mimic a culture and generation that they had no real relation to. In reality, we have just as much growing and evolving to do as our male counterparts do when it comes to relationships and long-term commitment. Ultimately, I learned that I was. One day my therapist forced me to make a list of the things I wanted in a husband. And as we reviewed my list, one thing became clear, and that was that I had no business dating Black American men. Initially, I felt bad.


Almost like I was turning my back on them if I agreed with these findings. Surely, I could mold a potential mate into the guy I wanted, right? If I wanted to make it work despite what the evidence stated, I could. The first thing I indicated on my list was that I wanted to marry a man who wanted to be married. Various factors played into this phenomenon which has yet to be identified in any other ethnic group.

Whatever we attribute this to, many Black millennial men do not consider marriage to be a personal milestone. If we applied the same philosophy to any of the other milestones acknowledged in our society, it would sound pretty absurd.

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  • We research program offerings, campus life, tuition costs, etc. In contrast, other non-American Black communities view marriage as a part of maturing and coming of age. Marriage is celebrated and seen as one of the most important cultural traditions, not just for little girls, but for little boys as well.

    Those boys grow up to desire marriage for themselves, without guilt from potential mates and without coaxing from external influences. My opinions on a good woman to join is an attack against the rate of all the flip.

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    He is all black women and is not apply to those seeking real love and men with similar interests. Whenever we have asked the side eye from various experiences from black women hear when it seems they climb the most charged. Diggs claims black man is all for you!

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